Homeland Security Satire and Parodies

View a collection of remixed propaganda posters parodying homeland security measures and the emerging police state.

Check out a series of funny interpretations of the terrorism preparedness pictures posted on the government's new Web site, Ready.gov.

"We sell, you conquer." An amusing parody of Home Depot, for all your global domination needs.

Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff raised eyebrows by announcing that the United States would outsource all of its homeland security operations to a little-known North Korean firm called Jim Kong-Il, Inc. (From the Borowitz Report)

As an additional reminder that the U.S. is on high alert for terrorist attacks, Secretary of Homeland Security Tom Ridge announced Tuesday that Orange Alert klaxons will blare 24 hours a day in all major cities, the Onion reports.

The Department of Homeland Security reduced the nation’s terror alert status from Orange to Yellow today, with Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge urging all Americans to stock up on Scotch tape rather than duct tape and to immediately destroy half the amount of water and food they keep in their homes, according to the Borowitz Report.

A potentially embarrassing bombshell hit the Bush Administration as it was revealed that Vice President Dick Cheney controls a company that has virtually cornered the world market in duct tape and plastic sheeting, according to the Borowitz Report.

An amusing parody site providing safety tips and information on new OHS initiatives, such as "Operation Mandatory Patriotic Tattoo." Brought to you by White House.org.

Flanked by key members of Congress and his administration, President Bush approved a streamlined version of the Bill of Rights that pares its 10 original amendments down to a "tight, no-nonsense" six, the Onion reports.

As part of its ongoing efforts to obliterate terrorism, the Department of Justice has begun registering American Patriots. By registering all non-terrorists, DOJ intends to make use of the process of elimination to identify the evil ones who walk among us. If you are a non-terrorist, your participation is required.

Abandoning the last-minute, panic-inducing warning system it has used until now, the FBI today said it will begin issuing regular, five-day terror forecasts. Today's outlook: light, scattered terrorism early, tapering off by noon. Tomorrow: Clear, and seasonably dangerous.

John Ashcroft has asked all aspiring citizen informants to fill out this anonymous tip form.

Muckraking activist Michael Moore has set up his own Office of Homeland Security to serve as a one-stop shopping and command center to monitor the movements of the doers of true evil.

In response to growing concerns about terrorism, the Office of Homeland Security is now releasing a Terror Advisory Map, providing daily terror forecasts throughout the nation. A parody from National Lampoon Dotcom.

Take a glimpse into the life of a patriotic American participating in the government's new citizen snoop program: Operation TIPS (Terrorism Information and Prevention System). From Democratic Underground.

John Ashcroft, Attorney General and Disciple of the Lord Jesus, issues a memo regarding "wartime restrictions of dissemination of inappropriate so-called 'news.' Read it at White House.org.

A new alert system devised by Tom Ridge will allow investors to panic in an orderly fashion, according to the Borowitz Report.

The next time you travel by air, take the Security Edition of the Bill of Rights along with you. When asked to empty your pockets, proudly toss the Bill of Rights in the plastic bin.

President calls for complete reorganizationing of the intelligenciary.

After Tom Ridge unveiled his color-coded terrorism warning system, J.Crew followed suit: "This periwinkle fine-gauge cotton cardigan has a sleek fit that says, 'Be on the lookout...for my curves!'"

Blanket your community with Republicanism!

In a troubling sign that investigators may be getting bored with their success smuggling guns and knives onto airplanes, the U.S. Department of Transportation disclosed that its agents have recently cleared airport security checkpoints with an M1 tank, a beluga whale, and a fully active South American volcano.

An aptitude test for airport security screeners from SatireWire.

Aries: This is no time for a romantic affair. Better scrap those plans for the weekend—and for zodiac's sake don't go near a suspension bridge. Or maybe it's O.K.; the omens are ambiguous at best. Just don't get mad at people trying to be helpful...

President Bush assures Americans that the country's "shadow rulers" have been "carefully sired by hand-picked, corn-fed breeding stock possessing only the finest in blue-ribbon conservative genetics."

Just days after it was revealed that there is a "shadow government" in place underground somewhere outside of Washington, D.C., former Vice-President Al Gore was trounced in his bid to become President of it.

Bush: "Let it be known that we must redouble our efforts, looking not only for threats outside America, but also deep within the bosoms of our own Axis of Homeland Evil: Marin County California, Palm Beach Florida, and New York City's Upper West Side."

In an effort to have one clear voice delivering all news related to the domestic war on terrorism, the Department of Homeland Security today named a startled deer to be the department's official spokesman.

President: "I'm honored to be here today to dedicate this top-secret shadow White House as the command center for Operation Enduring GOP Reign."