Jokes About Hurricane Katrina

"President Bush sent Vice President Dick Cheney to New Orleans. Is that what they need down there? Another person requiring emergency medical help?" --Jay Leno

"Everyone is still talking about Hurricane Katrina. Experts say it could take 80 days to drain all of the flood water out of New Orleans. When President Bush heard this he said, '80 days, that's half a vacation.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Our president isn't exactly getting high marks for his handling of the catastrophe. People don't seem to realize, yes the hurricane has been devastating to the people who live in that area, but it has also ruined the last three days of his vacation. He has suffered too." --Jimmy Kimmel

"He could have started planning on Saturday when the radar showed that a hurricane was going to hit the city, but Bush thinks that the jury is still out on weather forecasting." --Bill Maher

"President Bush was on the ground all day today, you saw him there hugging the starving and touring the devastated area. His quote was 'New Orleans is more devastated than New York on 9/11.' Then he grabbed a bullhorn and vowed that we would get Mother Nature dead or alive." --Bill Maher

"There's one big difference between George Bush and Marie Antoinette, and that is when Marie Antoinette said 'Let them eat cake,' they had cake." --Bill Maher

"Taking a page from their tsunami playbook, the White House announced today that former presidents Bush and Bill Clinton will head up the fundraising efforts for the hurricane relief. And you know, Bill Clinton is no stranger to this kind of thing. He was once visiting the French Quarter during a hurricane and got blown behind a dumpster." --Bill Maher

"Congress announced a plan to rename the Gulf of Mexico. They want to call it Persian Gulf 2 in hopes that President Bush would send troops there faster." --Jay Leno

"How many folks have been watching the mini-series on HBO called 'Rome?' Amazingly, exciting episode this week -- Rome is burning while Nero refuses to cut his vacation short. And don't miss next week's episode when FEMA shows up a week late at Pompeii." --David Letterman

"Although the waters have receded from New Orleans, it's still a huge, huge problem and will be for months to come. You see the fresh water is contaminated with oil and gas. Actually, from Dick Cheney's perspective, the oil and gas is contaminated with fresh water." -Jay Leno

"As you know, FEMA stands for 'Fix Everything My Ass.'" --Jay Leno

"Even President Bush, almost a week later, President Bush said his administration's response to Katrina was unacceptable. Then he said 'Hey, don't blame me, I was on vacation.'" --Jay Leno

"Although, to his credit, President Bush did respond quickly and he did send troops as soon as he found out Louisiana had oil." --Jay Leno

Did you know you don't even have to be a lawyer to be on the Supreme Court? You don't even have to be a lawyer. Just like you don't have to be an emergency expert to work for FEMA." --Jay Leno

"Celine Dion criticized President Bush for the slow evacuation of New Orleans. Yeah, Celine said I could have driven everyone out of that city in two songs." --Conan O'Brien

"Welcome to the Late Show. I am so glad you people are here, because last night what an awful audience, oh, my God. Remember those people? What a horrible audience, and I hate talking about people when they're not here, but God, I thought it was the Bush Administration, because...they were so slow to respond." --David Letterman

"By the way, if you want to help the victims hit hardest by hurricane Katrina, Fox news has posted the Web site of the Republican National Committee." --Bill Maher

"But hey, it is New Orleans. Watching today, I could tell that this city has not lost its hope. It has not lost its distinctive pluck, because every time rescue teams would toss supplies to people, women flashed their tits." --Bill Maher