Jay Leno's Best Clinton Jokes

See Also:
Leno's Best Obama Jokes
Leno's Best Bush Jokes

"Things aren't looking good for Hillary. Like a lot of women in Washington, I think she's just starting to realize she may have slept with Bill Clinton for nothing." --Jay Leno

"The $10 million Clinton is getting for his book beats the old record of $8.5 million paid to the Pope. How do you think this makes the Pope feel? The man dedicates his life to the 10 Commandments, he gets 8.5. Clinton breaks every one of them, he gets 10." --Jay Leno

"Just like Clinton, the book will come with a jacket and no pants." --Jay Leno

"This kind of seems like bad taste to me. A Giuliani fundraiser is now charging $9.11 ... in reference to 9/11. ... Isn't that inappropriate? I mean, isn't it like a Bill Clinton fundraiser charging $69 a head?" --Jay Leno

"A company has announced that they have come out with a solar-powered vibrator. Doesn't it sound like something dreamed up by Al Gore while he was working with Bill Clinton." –Jay Leno

"Looks like Barack Obama has won the nomination. Congratulations. And Hillary Clinton is about to drop out. She has not dropped out officially. That means Bill Clinton's about to hear those three words he's been dreading: 'Honey, I'm home!'" --Jay Leno

"President Bush welcomed Bill and Hillary Clinton back to the White House for the unveiling of Bill's official portrait. There are two firsts involved. It's the first presidential portrait ever painted by an African-American artist. And it's the first presidential portrait to feature full-frontal nudity." --Jay Leno

"Clinton's book could be close to 700 pages. What is this? Even Clinton's books are fat." --Jay Leno

"Yesterday President Bush was at Mt. Rushmore. Don't confuse this with former President Clinton who was just in a rush to mount more." --Jay Leno

"Yesterday was Earth Day, and President Bush planted some seeds. See, that's the difference between Bush and Clinton. Clinton was a much bigger environmentalist. He didn't just plant his seeds one day, he planted them every day." --Jay Leno

"In Little Rock, Arkansas, they began ground breaking for the Bill Clinton presidential library ... as I understand, Clinton is staining the wood himself." --Jay Leno

"Bin Laden was once targeted by President Clinton. President Clinton wanted to kill him but couldn't get him. Of course not, we all know what kind of aim Clinton has." --Jay Leno

"Former President Clinton was hit by an egg thrown by a protester as he was walking down the street in Poland. His reflexes were so quick, he was able to fertilize it like that." --Jay Leno

~Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman

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