John Ashcroft Jokes
Jokes, cartoons, satire, and other digs at Attorney General John Ashcroft.
Funny John Ashcroft Pictures
View a series of amusing parodies and doctored photos of Attorney General John Ashcroft.
View a series of amusing parodies and doctored photos of Attorney General John Ashcroft.
John Ashcroft Jokes
Recent jokes by the late-night comedians about Attorney General John Ashcroft.
Recent jokes by the late-night comedians about Attorney General John Ashcroft.
John Ashcroft Sings 'Let the Eagle Soar'
Attorney General John Ashcroft sings a rousing rendition of a song he wrote called "Let the Eagle Soar."
Attorney General John Ashcroft sings a rousing rendition of a song he wrote called "Let the Eagle Soar."
John Ashcroft Porn Collage
View a collage of John Ashcroft's face, made up entirely of porn pictures
View a collage of John Ashcroft's face, made up entirely of porn pictures
Ashcroft Remixed
Even a remix can't save John Ashcroft from himself.
Even a remix can't save John Ashcroft from himself.
John Ashcroft Cartoons
View editorial cartoons about John Ashcroft's resignation as Attorney General.
View editorial cartoons about John Ashcroft's resignation as Attorney General.
John Ashcroft: America's Crooning Crusader
Swoon to more sonic stylings of John Ashcroft.
Swoon to more sonic stylings of John Ashcroft.
John Ashcroft's Letter of Resignation
John Ashcroft insists that he is every bit the man that Janet Reno was.
John Ashcroft insists that he is every bit the man that Janet Reno was.
Ashcroft Rocks!
John Ashcroft's Patriot Act Summer Tour will rock your world. Animated cartoon by Mark Fiore.
John Ashcroft's Patriot Act Summer Tour will rock your world. Animated cartoon by Mark Fiore.
Ashcroft Named Ambassador to Mars
Moments after resigning his post at the Justice Department, Attorney General John Ashcroft was tapped for another big job in the Bush administration, being named the United States' first-ever ambassador to Mars. From the Borowitz Report.
Moments after resigning his post at the Justice Department, Attorney General John Ashcroft was tapped for another big job in the Bush administration, being named the United States' first-ever ambassador to Mars. From the Borowitz Report.
Ashcroft Sings, Nation Cringes
More proof positive that the United States Attorney General is quite possibly insane.
More proof positive that the United States Attorney General is quite possibly insane.
Ashcroft's Staff Forced to Sing His Songs
Since John Ashcroft became attorney general, workers at the department of justice have become accustomed to his daily prayer meetings, but some are now drawing the line at having to sing patriotic songs penned by their idiosyncratic boss.
Since John Ashcroft became attorney general, workers at the department of justice have become accustomed to his daily prayer meetings, but some are now drawing the line at having to sing patriotic songs penned by their idiosyncratic boss.
John Ashcroft For Guns
John Ashcroft likes guns. Why don't you? Catch the latest animated cartoon by Don Asmussen and Mondo Media.
John Ashcroft likes guns. Why don't you? Catch the latest animated cartoon by Don Asmussen and Mondo Media.
American Patriot Registration
As part of its ongoing efforts to obliterate terrorism, the Department of Justice has begun registering American Patriots. By registering all non-terrorists, DOJ intends to make use of the process of elimination to identify the evil ones who walk among us. If you are a non-terrorist, your participation is required. To register, click here.
As part of its ongoing efforts to obliterate terrorism, the Department of Justice has begun registering American Patriots. By registering all non-terrorists, DOJ intends to make use of the process of elimination to identify the evil ones who walk among us. If you are a non-terrorist, your participation is required. To register, click here.
Operation TIPS Anonymous Lead Form
John Ashcroft has asked all aspiring citizen informants to fill out this anonymous tip form.
John Ashcroft has asked all aspiring citizen informants to fill out this anonymous tip form.
John Ashcroft's Memo to the Media
John Ashcroft, Attorney General and Disciple of the Lord Jesus, issues a memo regarding "wartime restrictions of dissemination of inappropriate so-called 'news.' Read it at White House.org.
John Ashcroft, Attorney General and Disciple of the Lord Jesus, issues a memo regarding "wartime restrictions of dissemination of inappropriate so-called 'news.' Read it at White House.org.
Ashcroft Rejected By Newly Created Bride Of Ashcroft
Attorney General John Ashcroft's quest for a companion to ease the pain of his lonely and tormented existence was dealt a severe blow Monday, when he was rejected by the newly created "Bride Of Ashcroft," the Onion reports.
Attorney General John Ashcroft's quest for a companion to ease the pain of his lonely and tormented existence was dealt a severe blow Monday, when he was rejected by the newly created "Bride Of Ashcroft," the Onion reports.
Ashcroft Orders Staff To Chain Him Before Next Full Moon
In a move that has sparked widespread speculation, Attorney General John Ashcroft gave explicit orders to his staff Monday to tightly bind him in heavy iron chains before the next full moon, the Onion reports.
In a move that has sparked widespread speculation, Attorney General John Ashcroft gave explicit orders to his staff Monday to tightly bind him in heavy iron chains before the next full moon, the Onion reports.
Extreme Ashcroft
Extreme views. Extreme incompetence. Get the full scoop on our singing, gun-toting, statue-draping, God-fearing Attorney General.
Extreme views. Extreme incompetence. Get the full scoop on our singing, gun-toting, statue-draping, God-fearing Attorney General.
A.G. Announces New Hospitality Measures for Arabiac Tourists
Read the text of Ashcroft's remarks as he extends a hearty welcome to the Muslims visiting "our vast and exclusively Christ-abiding land."
Read the text of Ashcroft's remarks as he extends a hearty welcome to the Muslims visiting "our vast and exclusively Christ-abiding land."
Cartoons: Ashcroft's Obscene Draped Statue
Look at what John Ashcroft is trying to cover up.
Look at what John Ashcroft is trying to cover up.
The Secret John Ashcroft Video
The attorney general conducts a secretive interrogation in the bowels of the Justice Department.
The attorney general conducts a secretive interrogation in the bowels of the Justice Department.
'America Must Cease to be a Lurid Statury of Deviant Sex"
Ashcroft vows to root out "any and all filth which excites me."
Ashcroft vows to root out "any and all filth which excites me."
John Ashcroft Sings 'My Favorite Things'
Rifles and roscoes and Winch'sters and cannons,
Rich NRA guys who own lots of weapons,
Generous men to whose pockets I cling,
These are a few of my favorite things...
Rifles and roscoes and Winch'sters and cannons,
Rich NRA guys who own lots of weapons,
Generous men to whose pockets I cling,
These are a few of my favorite things...
Ashcroft Detains Self 'Indefinitely'
The bulging roster of Justice Department detainees added an improbable member last night as Attorney General John Ashcroft moved "swiftly and decisively" to take himself into custody, Mr. Ashcroft announced today.
The bulging roster of Justice Department detainees added an improbable member last night as Attorney General John Ashcroft moved "swiftly and decisively" to take himself into custody, Mr. Ashcroft announced today.
Top 10 Reasons John Ashcroft Would Not Sing On Our Show
From the "Late Show With David Letterman."
From the "Late Show With David Letterman."
John Ashcroft Sings "Blessed Be That City"
Listen to a cut from the Attorney General's gospel album, brought to you by the Smoking Gun.
Listen to a cut from the Attorney General's gospel album, brought to you by the Smoking Gun.