John Ashcroft Jokes

View a series of amusing parodies and doctored photos of Attorney General John Ashcroft.

Recent jokes by the late-night comedians about Attorney General John Ashcroft.

Attorney General John Ashcroft sings a rousing rendition of a song he wrote called "Let the Eagle Soar."

View a collage of John Ashcroft's face, made up entirely of porn pictures

Even a remix can't save John Ashcroft from himself.

View editorial cartoons about John Ashcroft's resignation as Attorney General.

Swoon to more sonic stylings of John Ashcroft.

John Ashcroft insists that he is every bit the man that Janet Reno was.

John Ashcroft's Patriot Act Summer Tour will rock your world. Animated cartoon by Mark Fiore.

More proof positive that the United States Attorney General is quite possibly insane.

Since John Ashcroft became attorney general, workers at the department of justice have become accustomed to his daily prayer meetings, but some are now drawing the line at having to sing patriotic songs penned by their idiosyncratic boss.

John Ashcroft likes guns. Why don't you? Catch the latest animated cartoon by Don Asmussen and Mondo Media.

As part of its ongoing efforts to obliterate terrorism, the Department of Justice has begun registering American Patriots. By registering all non-terrorists, DOJ intends to make use of the process of elimination to identify the evil ones who walk among us. If you are a non-terrorist, your participation is required. To register, click here.

John Ashcroft has asked all aspiring citizen informants to fill out this anonymous tip form.

John Ashcroft, Attorney General and Disciple of the Lord Jesus, issues a memo regarding "wartime restrictions of dissemination of inappropriate so-called 'news.' Read it at White House.org.

Attorney General John Ashcroft's quest for a companion to ease the pain of his lonely and tormented existence was dealt a severe blow Monday, when he was rejected by the newly created "Bride Of Ashcroft," the Onion reports.

In a move that has sparked widespread speculation, Attorney General John Ashcroft gave explicit orders to his staff Monday to tightly bind him in heavy iron chains before the next full moon, the Onion reports.

Extreme views. Extreme incompetence. Get the full scoop on our singing, gun-toting, statue-draping, God-fearing Attorney General.

Read the text of Ashcroft's remarks as he extends a hearty welcome to the Muslims visiting "our vast and exclusively Christ-abiding land."

Look at what John Ashcroft is trying to cover up.

The attorney general conducts a secretive interrogation in the bowels of the Justice Department.

Ashcroft vows to root out "any and all filth which excites me."

Rifles and roscoes and Winch'sters and cannons,
Rich NRA guys who own lots of weapons,
Generous men to whose pockets I cling,
These are a few of my favorite things...

From the "Late Show With David Letterman."

Listen to a cut from the Attorney General's gospel album, brought to you by the Smoking Gun.