Senator Obama talks about making history. And he's made quite a bit of it already. There was a time when the mere invitation of an African-American citizen to dine at the White House was taken as an outrage and an insult in many quarters. Today, it's a world away from the crude and prideful bigotry of that time. And good riddance. I can't wish my opponent luck, but I do wish him well.

Whatever the outcome next month, Senator Obama has achieved a great thing for himself and for his country and I congratulate him.

In his own day, Governor Al Smith achieved great things, as well, and traveled a harder path than most any presidential candidate before or since. America will always remember the boy born in an old tenement on South Street in Brooklyn, who was four times elected governor of this state and the newsboy and fishmonger who went to St. James Parochial School and at his death received an apostolic benediction from the pope himself.

At the Al Smith Foundation and at the New York Archdiocese, you're carrying on the spirit and work of this good man with your service to the poor, your comfort for the sick and needy, your belief in the dignity of life, especially your gallant defense of the rights of the unborn.

I'm proud to count myself as your friend and ally. With that, with that, my friends, let me make way for my opponent, who tonight is making a comedy debut that I guess we could call the final test of this campaign.

Now, a copy of the senator's comedy routine was left on the table this evening. And I have to confess, Your Eminence, I looked at it.

Now, of course, it would be unfair -- and even a little unkind -- to put my opponent on the spot before he gets up here or to throw him off his game with unreasonably high expectations.

But I do need to warn you, ladies and gentlemen, you all are about to witness the funniest performance in history.

In the 63-year history of this event...

...let's not add to the mounting pressure he must be feeling.

Just prepare yourself for nonstop hilarity...

. ..the funniest 15 minutes of your life or any other. I think he knows that anything short of that would mar the evening, insult our hosts...

...and perhaps even cost him several swing states.Senator Obama, the microphone is all yours.

See Also:
Video of McCain's Comedy Roast
Video of Obama's Comedy Roast
Transcript of Obama's Comedy Roast