McCainisms

"You know that old Beach Boys song, Bomb Iran? Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran." --breaking into song after being asked at a VFW meeting about whether it was time to send a message to Iran, Murrells Inlet, South Carolina, April 18, 2007 (Watch video clip)

"Well, it's common knowledge and has been reported in the media that Al Qaeda is going back into Iran and receiving training and are coming back into Iraq from Iran. That's well known. And it's unfortunate." -before correcting himself by saying Iran was training "extremists," not Al Qaeda (Watch video clip)

"No one has supported President Bush on Iraq more than I have."

"The fact is that I have agreed with President Bush far more than I have disagreed. And on the transcendent issues, the most important issues of our day, I've been totally in agreement and support of President Bush. --"Meet the Press" interview, June 19, 2005

"I'm glad to have his endorsement. I condemn remarks that are, in any way, viewed as anti-anything. And thanks for asking." --after being asked by George Stephanopoulos about receiving the endorsement of Evangelical pastor Rev. John Hagee, who has made a number of controversial remarks, including calling Catholicism "The Great Whore" and blaming Hurricane Katrina on gays

"I will conduct a respectful debate. Now, it will be dispirited -- it will be spirited -- because there are stark differences. I am a proud conservative, liberal Republica-- conservative Republican...Hello? Easy there." (Watch video clip)

"F**k you! I know more about this than anyone else in the room." --to Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX), during a testy exchange about immigration legislation

"I am a illiterate that has to rely on my wife for all of the assistance I can get." -after being asked whether us uses a Mac or a PC (Watch video clip)

"It's not social issues I care about."

"There are neighborhoods in Baghdad where you and I could walk through those neighborhoods today." --prior to visiting a Baghdad market while being flanked by 22 soldiers, 10 armored Humvees, and two Apache attack helicopters

"I had something picked out for you, too - a little IED (improvised explosive device) to put on your desk." --to Jon Stewart

"Americans are very frustrated, and they have every right to be. We've wasted a lot of our most precious treasure, which is American lives." --on the Iraq war

"I think I'd just commit suicide." --in October 2006, on the prospects of the Democrats taking back the Senate in the November election

"No, I'm calling you a f*cking jerk." --to fellow Republican Sen. Chuck Grassley, when Grassley asked "Are you calling me stupid?"

"Only an a**hole would put together a budget like this ... I wouldn't call you an a**hole unless you really were an a**hole." --to Budget Committee Chairman and fellow Repulican Sen. Pete Domenici, during a Senate budget hearing

"Don't touch me. Do you know who I am? Do you know who you're talking to?" –becoming enraged when a woman grabbed his arm during a game of craps at a Puerto Rico casino in 2005

"I would rather have a clean government than one where quote First Amendment rights are being respected, that has become corrupt. If I had my choice, I'd rather have the clean government."

"I am sure that Senator Clinton would make a good President. I have no doubt that Senator Clinton would make a good President."

"There's no doubt in my mind that we will prevail and there's no doubt in my mind, once these people are gone, that we will be welcomed as liberators." --on the Iraq war, "Hardball" interview, March 24, 2003

"We're going to prevail and we will win and it'll be one of the best things that's happened to America and the world in a long time 'cause it'll reverberate throughout the Middle East." --on the Iraq war, "Meet the Press" interview, March 3, 2003

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who is still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."

"I said, 'The nice thing about Alzheimer's is you get to hide your own Easter eggs.'"

"At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you c*nt." -to his wife, Cindy, after she playfully twirled his hair and said "You're getting a little thin up there," as reported in the book The Real McCain by Cliff Schecter (Watch spoof video)

"Do you know why Chelsea Clinton is so ugly? Because Janet Reno is her father." --at a 1998 Republican fundraiser

"Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, 'Where is that marvelous ape?'" --a joke McCain reportedly told during his first Senate race in 1986

~Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman

Got another McCain quote? Email it to politicalhumor@aboutguide.com

This quote collection is Copyright Daniel Kurtzman 2008. You may cite this page or excerpt part of the collection provided that you include attribution and a link to About.com Political Humor or this page's URL.

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