"My name is Patrick Fitzgerald ... I like to tear the tops off small animals." --before rapping at the Radio-TV Correspondents' dinner (Watch video)
"You may end up with a different math, but you're entitled to your math. I'm entitled to the math." --insisting to NPR that 2006 pre-election polls "add up to a Republican Senate and a Republican House"
"As people do better, they start voting like Republicans - unless they have too much education and vote Democratic, which proves there can be too much of a good thing."
"Conservatives saw the savagery of 9/11 in the attacks and prepared for war; liberals saw the savagery of the 9/11 attacks and wanted to prepare indictments and offer therapy and understanding for our attackers."
"Somebody gets to be smart and somebody gets to be dumb. If we win, it'll be because of the president. And if we lose, it'll be because of me."
"Come on, everybody. Go Howard Dean!"
"Huge amounts of charisma, swagger, cowboy boots, flight jacket, wonderful smile, just charisma -- you know, wow!" --describing his first impression of George W. Bush
"We will f**k him. Do you hear me? We will f**k him. We will ruin him. Like no one has ever f**ked him." -to an aide about some political stratagem in some state that had gone awry and a political operative who had displeased him
"Just get me a f**king faith-based thing. Got it?" --as quoted in a book by David Kuo, the former second-in-command of Bush's Office on Faith-Based Initiatives
"I've already said too much." -to Time magazine reporter Matthew Cooper, at the conclusion of a converation in which he told him that the wife of a Bush administration critic worked for the CIA