Middle East Jokes

"In an interview, Yasser Arafat's wife, this hypocrite, she lives in Paris by the way. She said she would gladly sacrifice her son for the Palestinian cause if she had one. She also said she would gladly become a suicide bomber herself, except she's allergic to dynamite. 'If it wasn't for that, I would gladly do it instead of shopping here in Paris.'" —Jay Leno

"The Democrats said today that if they were in power they could get Israel to pull out of Palestine. Oh shut up. They couldn't even get Bill to pull out of Monica." —Jay Leno

"After weeks of pleading from the United States, on Saturday Yasser Arafat finally condemned violence and terrorism in the Middle East. Nothing like a tank coming through your front door to make you change your mind." —Jay Leno

"Colin Powell's (Middle East) mission was somewhat a success. He came back alive." —Jay Leno

"Secretary of State Colin Powell turned down an offer from former president Jimmy Carter to get involved in the Mideast peace process. However, he did ask Carter to build a shed in his back yard." —Conan O'Brien

"Earlier today, for the first time, Yasser Arafat issued a statement in Arabic condemning terrorism. U.S. officials say the statement is a step in the right direction except for the last line which translates into 'wink, wink.'" —Tina Fey

"President Bush is working very hard on the Mideast problem. According to a White House aide, President Bush's speech this week on the Middle East conflict went through seventeen different drafts. Which is actually good because the first draft started out 'Dear Bad Guys.'" —Conan O'Brien

"Yasser Arafat is sleeping on the floor in his office with his closest aides. He is the first leader to do that since Clinton." —Jay Leno

"Egypt now says they will no longer recognize Israel. Well of course they don't recognize Israel, people keep blowing it up." —Jay Leno