Federal prosecutors nailed ex-Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich (D-bag) for trying to sell President Obama's Senate seat, recording a series of profanity-laced conversations in which he said things like "I've got this thing and it's f**king golden," "I'm just not giving it up for f**king nothing," and "Give this motherf**ker Obama his senator? F**k him. For nothing. F**k him.'" Shocking as it was, Americans were ultimately more shocked by his hair, which was described by various observers as a perfect bird's nest for some black crows, cotton candy coated with black spray paint, Klingon helmet hair, or something you'd see on "Animal Planet" or "Unsolved Mysteries."