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The 25 Most Devastating Quotes About Sarah Palin

Memorable Jokes, SNL Lines, and Conservative Attacks on Palin


Sarah Palin Scream
1. "Wasilla hillbillies looting Neiman Marcus from coast to coast." --an angry McCain aide describing Palin's $150,000 shopping spree (Source)

2. "She is a diva. She takes no advice from anyone. She does not have any relationships of trust with any of us, her family or anyone else. Also, she is playing for her own future and sees herself as the next leader of the party. Remember: Divas trust only unto themselves, as they see themselves as the beginning and end of all wisdom." ―an anonymous McCain adviser complaining to CNN about Palin going off-script (Source)

3. "A whack job." ―a top McCain adviser describing Palin, one-upping the McCain adviser who called her a "diva" (Source)

4. "I can see Russia from my house!" ―Tina Fey, impersonating Sarah Palin on Saturday Night Live (Watch video)

5. "When you think about it, Alaska is also near the North Pole, so she must also be friends with Santa." ―Jon Stewart, on claims that Alaska's proximity to Russia gives her foreign policy experience (Watch video)

6. "The difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull: lipstick, Prada shoes, a Gucci handbag, and a few $3,000 suits" ―from David Letterman's "Top Ten Sarah Palin Excuses for Spending $150,000 on Clothes" (Read the list)

7. "She's not prepared to be governor. How can she be prepared to be vice president or president? Look at what she's done to this state. What would she do to the nation?" ―Alaska State Senate President Lyda Green, who is a Republican (Source)

8. "She said that small towns, that's the part of the country she really likes going to because that's the pro-America part of the country. You know, I just want to say to her, just very quickly: F**k you." ―Jon Stewart, speaking about Palin to a college audience in Boston (Watch video)

9. "According to expense reports, Sarah Palin charged the state of Alaska over $21,000 for her children to travel with her on official business. In fairness to Gov. Palin, when she leaves them home alone, they get pregnant." ―Seth Meyers on Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update" (Read more Palin jokes)

10. "I believe marriage is meant to be a sacred institution between two unwilling teenagers." ―Tina Fey, impersonating Sarah Palin in the VP debate (Watch video)

11. "Sarah Palin was asked a question by a third grader and she got it wrong. She apparently still does not know what the vice president does ... She says he or she runs the Senate. No, not in this country. You know I would never accuse George Bush of being a bright man, but when he was elected, at least he knew which building to show up to." ―Bill Maher (Read more Palin jokes)

12. [Sarah Palin] represents a fatal cancer to the Republican party." ―conservative columnist David Brooks (Source)

13. "[McCain] knows, in his gut, that he put somebody unqualified on the ballot. He knows that in his gut, and when this race is over that is something he will have to live with... He put somebody unqualified on that ballot and he put the country at risk, he knows that." ―Matthew Dowd, former chief strategist for President Bush's 2004 reelection campaign (Source)

14. Alec Baldwin, "mistaking" Sarah Palin for Tina Fey on Saturday Night Live during a conversation with SNL executive producer Lorne Michaels: "Lorne, I need to talk to you. You can't let Tina go out there with that woman. She goes against everything we stand for. I mean, good Lord, Lorne, they call her... what's that name they call her? Cari... Cari... What do they call her again, Tina?"
Sarah Palin: "That'd be Caribou Barbie."
Baldwin: "Caribou Barbie. Thank you, Tina. I mean, this is the most important election in our nation's history. And you want her -- our Tina -- to go out there and stand there with that horrible woman. What do you have to say for yourself?" (Watch video)

15. "It's like a really bad Disney movie. The hockey mom, you know, 'oh, I'm just a hockey mom'... and she's facing down President Putin... It's totally absurd... it's a really terrifying possibility... I need to know if she really thinks that dinosaurs were here 4,000 years ago. I want to know that, I really do. Because she's gonna have the nuclear codes." - ―actor Matt Damon (Source)

Next > More Quotes from Fey, Letterman and Palin's Mother-in-Law

~Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman

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