Elliot Spitzer Jokes

"I've been thinking about something, do you think it's too soon to be hitting on Mrs. Eliot Spitzer?" --David Letterman

"Did you happen to see the press conference, very dramatic. Eliot Spitzer was there, he had yellow crime scene tape draped around his pants, it was crazy." --David Letterman

"But here's the lesson, ladies and gentlemen, this is why I always wear a fake mustache and pay cash." --David Letterman

"But a lot of rumors about what is going to happen. If Governor Spitzer does resign over his prostitution scandal, it's been reported that he will go into private practice as a lawyer. That's what he's going to do. Yeah. When asked why he wants to practice law again, Spitzer said, 'I like businesses where you charge by the hour and screw your clients.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Of course, the big story tonight, known to anyone with a television, or a Google alert set to 'prostitute.' (on screen: Eliot Spitzer Press Convo). Eliot Spitzer, the law and order governor of New York, caught soliciting sexual favors from a prostitute. Interestingly enough, he was caught on a wiretap, the kind most likely authorized by the law and order governor of New York, Eliot Spitzer. Oops" --Jon Stewart

"New York Post, I call dibs on 'Eliot Mess.' ... Huge news today. ... New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer has admitted involvement with a prostitution ring. ... I just hope the press deals with this tastefully (On screen: Picture of Spitzer, Headline: WHORES!)" --Stephen Colbert

"The governor was supposed to give a press conference today at 2:15 pm but a whole hour passed before he spoke. To be fair, it is Daylight Savings time, and the governor usually has a prostitute change his clocks." --Stephen Colbert

"I want to make one thing perfectly clear, okay folks, Gov. Spitzer is a friend of the show. That never changes. I've sat next to the guy three times and I didn't pick up on any of this, and I usually have excellent whore-dar." --Stephen Colbert

~Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman