A roundup of the ten best lines from recent Letterman top ten lists targeting BP, Jeb Bush, and the leaked documents on the Afghanistan war:
Top Ten Questions on the BP CEO Application
8. Do you own a lot of towels and rags?
6. What species do you most want to drive into extinction?
2. By the way, would you mind firing the last guy for us?
Top Ten Reasons Jeb Bush Isn't Running for President
10. Worried he can't live up to the expectations
3. Wasn't blessed with the Bush family stammer
2. For some reason, he'd rather not inherit two wars, massive debt, and an ocean full of oil
1. No governor siblings to help him rig the election
Top Ten Surprises In The Leaked Government Documents
9. Intelligence agencies have almost deciphered the plot of 'Inception'
6. Al-Qaida canceled plan to destroy Gulf of Mexico when BP beat them to it
1. Turns out the 9-year, no-end-in-sight Afghan war isn't going well
Read the full top ten lists below...
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From the scrambled syntax of George W. Bush to the verbal misadventures of Dan Quayle to the comical gaffes of Joe Biden, see our compilation of the most inane statements ever made by prominent Republicans, Democrats, media blowhards, and other idiots:
"For seven and a half years I've worked alongside President Reagan. We've had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We've had some sex...uh...setbacks." —George H.W. Bush
"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." —Dan Quayle
"Well, I learned a lot....I went down to (Latin America) to find out from them and (learn) their views. You'd be surprised. They're all individual countries." —Ronald Reagan
"It depends on what the meaning of the words 'is' is." —Bill Clinton, during his 1998 grand jury testimony on the Monica Lewinsky affair
"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." —George W. Bush
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Related:
• Dumbest Political Quotes of 2010
• Funniest Political Quotes of All Time
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"
Bristol Palin is getting married to
Levi Johnston.
Sarah Palin is so excited that she can't even
make up words to express how thrilled she is." —David Letterman
"Sarah Palin was delivering a speech and she said '
refudiate.' It's not a word — you have refute and repudiate, and she combined them. A lot of times that will happen and people will confuse combinations of words. I remember a couple years ago
John McCain mistakenly combined the words Vice President and Palin." —David Letterman
"
President Obama and his family are going on vacation in the Gulf Coast next month. Of course, the Gulf Coast is a lovely place to sit back and relax — just ask
BP." —Jimmy Fallon
"Bristol Palin wants Levi Johnston to wear a camouflage vest at their wedding next month. When she heard that, Sarah Palin was like, 'That's fine, I wasn't planning on aiming that high anyway.'" —Jimmy Fallon
"The brother of former President
George Bush,
Jeb Bush, is running for president. Yep, and the campaign slogan is, 'I'm going to finish what my brother started.'" —David Letterman
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