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By Daniel Kurtzman, About.com Guide to Political Humor since 2000

What Kind of Liberal or Conservative Are You? Take the Quiz

Monday July 2, 2007
Take the entertaining and astonishingly accurate Liberal Identity Quiz or Conservative Identity Quiz and find out whether you're a Peace Patroller, Social Justice Crusader, New Left Hipster, Flag-Waving Everyman, Anti-Government Gunslinger, Freedom Crusader, or another unique breed of liberal or conservative.

The quizzes are excerpted from my new books, How to Win a Fight with a Conservative and How to Win a Fight with a Liberal.

Related: Bush Loyalty Quiz | Partisan Loyalty Quiz | More Political Quizzes

Comments

June 26, 2007 at 4:23 pm
(1) Ed says:

Hilarious. This was my result:

You are an Eco-Avenger, also known as an environmentalist or tree hugger. You believe in saving the planet from the clutches of air-fouling, oil-drilling, earth-raping conservative fossil fools.

June 26, 2007 at 4:25 pm
(2) Ron says:

I especially liked this question:

Which bumper sticker would you most likely put on your car?

A. I’m Already Against the Next War
B. Nice Hummer—Sorry About Your Penis
C. America: One Nation Under Surveillance
D. Of Course It Hurts, You’re Getting Screwed by an Elephant
E. Evolution Is Just a Theory…Kind of Like Gravity
F. May the Fetus You Save Be Gay

June 29, 2007 at 7:58 pm
(3) Nimrod says:

Cool, I passed, with flying colors:

You are a Reality-Based Intellectualist, also known as the liberal elite. You are a proud member of what’s known as the reality-based community, where science, reason, and non-Jesus-based thought reign supreme.

June 29, 2007 at 8:00 pm
(4) rick says:

My conservative type:

You are an Anti-government Gunslinger, also known as a libertarian conservative. You believe in smaller government, states’ rights, gun rights, and that, as Reagan once said, “The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, “I’m from the government and I’m here to help.’”

Can’t argue with that.

July 1, 2007 at 5:55 pm
(5) Mark says:

Funny quiz, and pretty damn accurate too. My profile:

You are a New Left Hipster, also known as a MoveOn.org liberal, a Netroots activist, or a Daily Show fanatic. You believe that if we really want to defend American values, conservatives must be exposed, mocked, and assailed for every fanatical, puritanical, warmongering, Constitution-shredding ideal for which they stand.

July 1, 2007 at 6:36 pm
(6) Thomas says:

I thought the way to win a fight with a liberal was to side step the issue entirely, question their patriotism &/or sexuality, call them an idiot several times and then refuse to address them any further.

July 3, 2007 at 2:29 am
(7) Daniel says:

Your Liberal Breed: Social Justice Crusader
You are a Social Justice Crusader, also known as a rights activist. You believe in equality, fairness, and preventing neo-Confederate conservative troglodytes from rolling back fifty years of civil rights gains.

July 5, 2007 at 1:56 pm
(8) Jen says:

You are a Peace Patroller, also known as an anti-war liberal or hippie. You believe in stopping American imperial conquest and supporting our troops by bringing them home.

Sounds about right.

December 15, 2007 at 3:36 pm
(9) Jim Adams says:

My “Liberal Identity”

You are a New Left Hipster, also known as a MoveOn.org liberal, a Netroots activist, or a Daily Show fanatic. You believe that if we really want to defend American values, conservatives must be exposed, mocked, and assailed for every fanatical, puritanical, warmongering, Constitution-shredding ideal for which they stand.

December 19, 2007 at 5:27 pm
(10) Jessica Cleveland says:

This was my evaluation

Flag-waving every man! Yeah! I am a Republican, conservitive, Freedom Loveing American Got a problem with that!

December 21, 2007 at 1:33 pm
(11) Jennifer says:

I am a faith-based fighter, also known as a religious conservative. All those liberals trying to ban the word, “God” in our Pledge of Allegiance, telling our children to have premarital sex, and teaching them condoms, instead of the Bible, and God, are ALL WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!

January 25, 2008 at 2:05 am
(12) Paul says:

Great quiz. My score…

You are a Working Class Warrior, also known as a blue-collar Democrat. You believe that the little guy is getting screwed by conservative greed-mongers and corporate criminals, and you’re not going to take it anymore.

March 28, 2008 at 11:16 am
(13) David says:

My results, there was a question that I had two answers which changed the results.

Your Conservative Breed: Freedom Crusader
You are a Freedom Crusader, also known as a neoconservative. You believe in taking the fight directly to the enemy, whether it’s terrorists abroad or the liberal terrorist appeasers at home who give them aid and comfort.
Your Conservative Breed: Faith-Based Fighter
You are a Faith-Based Fighter, also known as a religious conservative. You believe in Judeo-Christian values, restoring God’s rightful place in the public square, and in showing all the unwashed and unsaved liberal sinners the path to salvation, or at least to the GOP.

April 2, 2008 at 1:51 am
(14) Tim says:

Another New Left Hipster here.

August 1, 2008 at 3:14 am
(15) joe l says:

Blue collar Democrat here! That’s right I am sick of these corrupt rich high and mighty white bred elitist robbing hardworking people blind. You want to taplk about values!?!

August 11, 2008 at 12:29 am
(16) Jay says:

You are a Reality-Based Intellectualist, also known as the liberal elite. You are a proud member of what’s known as the reality-based community, where science, reason, and non-Jesus-based thought reign supreme.

Got that right. 100% pure liberal here.

August 30, 2008 at 5:55 pm
(17) Jeff says:

I took both of them,I’m sorta down the center.

You are a Free Marketeer, also known as a fiscal conservative. You believe in free-market capitalism, tax cuts, and protecting your hard-earned cash from pick-pocketing liberal socialists.

Your Liberal Breed: Reality-Based Intellectualist
You are a Reality-Based Intellectualist, also known as the liberal elite. You are a proud member of what’s known as the reality-based community, where science, reason, and non-Jesus-based thought reign supreme

September 7, 2008 at 3:15 am
(18) Nicole says:

You are a Social Justice Crusader, also known as a rights activist. You believe in equality, fairness, and preventing neo-Confederate conservative troglodytes from rolling back fifty years of civil rights gains

lol, so accurate

September 21, 2008 at 9:43 pm
(19) Emy says:

You are a Peace Patroller, also known as an anti-war liberal or neo-hippie. You believe in putting an end to American imperial conquest, stopping wars that have already been lost, and supporting our troops by bringing them home.

fun quiz

October 13, 2008 at 3:09 pm
(20) Megan says:

Your Conservative Breed: Freedom Crusader
You are a Faith-Based Fighter, also known as a religious conservative. You believe in Judeo-Christian values, restoring God’s rightful place in the public square, and in showing all the unwashed and unsaved liberal sinners the path to salvation, or at least to the GOP.

You are a Flag-Waving Everyman, also known as a patriot. You believe in freedom, apple pie, rooting for America at all times, and that God gave us a two-day weekend so we could enjoy football and NASCAR.

You are a Free Marketeer, also known as a fiscal conservative. You believe in free-market capitalism, tax cuts, and protecting your hard-earned cash from pick-pocketing liberal socialists.

You are a Values Guardian, also known as a social conservative. You believe in serving on the front lines of the culture wars to restore traditional values and protecting America against condom-dispensing, stem cell-sucking sodomites from Hollyweird.

You are an Anti-government Gunslinger, also known as a libertarian conservative. You believe in smaller government, states’ rights, gun rights, and that, as Reagan once said, “The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.’”

You are a Freedom Crusader, also known as a neoconservative. You believe in taking the fight directly to the enemy, whether it’s terrorists abroad or the liberal terrorist appeasers at home who give them aid and comfort.

Spot on! :)

October 19, 2008 at 8:33 pm
(21) Nathan says:

You are a Free Marketeer, also known as a fiscal conservative. You believe in free-market capitalism, tax cuts, and protecting your hard-earned cash from pick-pocketing liberal socialists.

October 21, 2008 at 10:45 pm
(22) Joseph Pucci says:

Hell! The quiz was damn funny. Especially the Last questin “who would you rather see on a naked pyramid” I put Mahmoud Ahmedinejad, Michael Moore, and Kim Jong Il. Pretty truthfull, but mostly funny.

October 29, 2008 at 1:23 pm
(23) brad says:

My Liberal Identity:You are a New Left Hipster, also known as a MoveOn.org liberal, a Netroots activist, or a Daily Show fanatic. You believe that if we really want to defend American values, conservatives must be exposed, mocked, and assailed for every fanatical, puritanical, warmongering, Constitution-shredding ideal for which they stand.Take the quiz at http://www.FightConservatives.com

November 4, 2008 at 6:44 am
(24) tim says:

Another Social Justice Crusader for Obama here.

November 16, 2008 at 5:12 pm
(25) Obamaphile says:

That was great fun. I also got a kick out of the Conservative Insult Generator.

December 3, 2008 at 8:37 am
(26) Zane J. says:

Your Liberal Breed: You are a Social Justice Crusader, also known as a rights activist. You believe in equality, fairness, and preventing neo-Confederate conservative troglodytes from rolling back fifty years of civil rights gains.

DAMN STRAIGHT!!! lol

February 3, 2009 at 2:14 pm
(27) Tony says:

I’m a Flag Waving Everyman… And for the life of me, I honestly can’t see how the Blind are leading the Deaf and Dumb in this country. What does it take to get the media to stop the bias???

May 25, 2009 at 5:52 pm
(28) Ty says:

I tried both quizzes. I found the liberal one much easier as I have issues with most of the answers. So I guess that confirms that I’m conservative?

You are a Faith-Based Fighter, also known as a religious conservative. You believe in Judeo-Christian values, restoring God’s rightful place in the public square, and in showing all the unwashed and unsaved liberal sinners the path to salvation, or at least to the GOP.

You are a Working Class Warrior, also known as a blue-collar Democrat. You believe that the little guy is getting screwed by conservative greed-mongers and corporate criminals, and you’re not going to take it anymore.

June 21, 2009 at 1:32 pm
(29) Alexandra says:

I think it’s stupid that being against the war would make you a liberal. It actually makes you pro-Constitution.

I consider myself to be conservative and pro-Constitution.

June 25, 2009 at 1:38 am
(30) Kiwi says:

My resutls are….

You are Top Class that is superior to everyone else. You are very beautiful and highly intelligent and everyone loves you. You can be wrong but still considered right in every argument you pursue – that’s because you are the best in the whole, wide world.

WOW THAT’S SPOT ON, THEY GOT THAT RIGHT. HOW DID THEY KNOW?

GREAT QUIZ

June 28, 2009 at 11:08 pm
(31) Nathan in NC says:

A Free Marketeer here.

Certain fireworks are against the law in NC, while other individuals are allowed to smoke like chimneys for forty years and eventually die of some mouth, throat, or lung related issue. I think that if people can kill themselves with cigarettes, I should have the right to blow my hand off after not reading the safety warning on the firecracker package.

I guess that thought makes me Libertarian too!

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