Eliot Spitzer Joke Roundup
Thursday March 13, 2008
"The governor of New York, Eliot Spitzer, has resigned. In his resignation speech, Spitzer said, 'To whom much has been given, much is expected.' Which is the same thing he said to that $5,000 hooker." --Jay Leno"It's sad. Spitzer said there is so much left undone -- Amber, Ashley, Rhonda." –David Letterman
"Don't kid yourself, this is serious. Eliot Spitzer could go to jail. He could go to prison. Think about that. The former governor of New York can go to prison. And, well, that'll be sex he won't have to pay for." –David Letterman
"Spitzer's resignation is bad news for Hillary Clinton. Did you know this? It's not good for Hillary Clinton, because Eliot Spitzer is resigning as governor of New York. That means Hillary Clinton has lost another superdelegate. It's true. On the bright side, Bill Clinton has gained a super wingman." --Conan O'Brien
"Eliot Spitzer was a Hillary Clinton superdelegate. ... Also, Spitzer was on Hillary Clinton's vice president list, possible running mate. Boy, she can pick 'em, can't she?" --David Letterman
"Now, here's the deal about the tryst down there in a Washington, DC, hotel -- $5,000 and a hotel room. Five grand and a hotel room. And Senator Larry Craig -- you remember Larry from Idaho? He said, 'Well, that's crazy. For two quarters, I can have a pay toilet all night.'" --David Letterman"Today he held another press conference he said he needed to leave to begin the difficult process of healing. Not emotionally -- his wife hit him in the face with a George Foreman Grill." --Jimmy Kimmel
Read more Eliot Spitzer jokes...
David Letterman's Top Ten Surprises During Eliot Spitzer's Resignation:
6. His decision not to wear pants
1. When reporters asked how much he paid per hour, his wife said, "Believe me, he doesn't need an hour"
David Letterman's Top Ten Messages Left on Eliot Spitzer's Answering Machine:
6. This is John McCain, if it makes you feel better, I once got caught having sex with Lincoln's wife
4. This is Senator Larry Craig. Do you ever go through the Minneapolis airport?
David Letterman's Top Ten Eliot Spitzer Excuses: :
10. Oh come on, like you were never involved in a prostitution ring
1. I thought Bill Clinton legalized this years ago
See also:
Eliot Spitzer Cartoons (About.com)
Funny Spitzer Pictures (About.com)
Late-Night Laughs Over Spitzer Scandal (Keith Olbermann)
Tainted Gov (Daily Show)
Spitzer Sandwich (Colbert Report)
Spitzer! The Musical (McSweeney's)
Lewis Black on Spitzer (Daily Show)
Sam Bee on the Shame Parade (Daily Show)
Eliot Spitzer Thought Process Flowchart (23/6)
Ode to Eliot Spitzer (MadKane)
Eliot Spitzer Playlist (BrightestYoungThings)
Meet Spitzer's 'Kristen' (AKA Ashley Alexandra Dupre) (Huffington Post)
Ashley Alexandra Dupre Suddenly Selling Music (Wonkette)
Photos of Eliot Spitzer's Hooker (The Smoking Gun)
Related:
Late-Night Political Jokes
Political Cartoons of the Week
Larry Craig Jokes
Comments
There’s no way this guy can be trusted to lead the state of NY when he’s leaving the state to spend $4700(not including dinner and a bottle of 2009 chilled ripple) on a single meeting with a “escort(whore)” in DC. That money should have stayed in state and bought several whores thereby helping the local economy. In addition it was revealed he spent $80k over the past year in such “services”. His dumbass should have atleast been on some kind of Frequent Fncker Program where after 5 Two Finger Mexican Oil Changes the 6th ones free(or after 3 Kansas City Mudslide the 4th ones free for you deviants that are into wierd sh!t)
The really fncked up thing during about his (Okay you got me)Press Confrence is his wife standing there next to him and CNN is running the ticker at the bottom of the screen describing Client 9’s(should have picked better cover name like Gov Nor Biatch)escort(Ho) as petite 5′5″ burnett…..Oh sh!t all this silly MoFo wanted is to Fnck his wife 20 years ago. Dayam why in the hell would you go out for chicken when you have chicken at home?????I mean I can understand the Hugh Grant Effect where he just got tired of fncking Liz Hurley and need a little Devine Brown just to mix it up. I would of been Okay if Eliot’s Ho was a 6′2″ 287 pound Korean chick missing 1 tit, with an eye patch, braided pubic hair, and speaks only German, but to hire a ho that looks like his wife ….that’s just sick! Then I realized that he’s sneakin around because he couldn’t get what he needed at home!!!This sh!t is all his wife’s fault.That’s right Silda should of gave him what he needed…bet she regrets not slipping that crisco coated big toe in his bung hole like he asked…Maybe this sad tale will serve as a lesson to other spouses the world over…
Who’s having a worse week? Ashley the high-end prostitute or Client 9?
My guess is Client 9.
One career dies another blooms. The ho who serviced ex Governor Spitzer fell on hard times … in fact fell on may hard times … however now that she’s cleared her throat her singing voice has blossomed and she’s released a couple of tunes on U-tube … not sure but I think one’s called
“I Did It My Way” which may account how she’s worth 5 grand for doing her thing on Eliot Maybe she was the six for his number nine?
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