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Daniel Kurtzman

John McCain and David Letterman Trade Insults

By April 2, 2008

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John McCain vs. David Letterman John McCain enjoyed some sweet comic revenge at David Letterman's expense during an April Fool's Day appearance on the Late Show.

Letterman has been mocking McCain with wicked glee in recent weeks with his trademark series of "he-looks-like" jokes portraying McCain as a crotchety old man. Tuesday night's show was no exception, with Letterman ripping McCain during his monologue:
"He looks like the guy at the hardware store who makes the keys … He looks like the guy who can’t stop talking about how well his tomatoes are doing ... He looks like the guy who goes into town for turpentine ... He looks like the guy who always has wiry hair growing out of new places ... He looks like the guy who points out the spots they missed at the car wash."
McCain suddenly walked out on stage and said, "Hi, Letterman. You think that stuff's pretty funny, don't you?" He then turned the tables on Letterman with his own comic monologue:
"Well, you look like a guy whose laptop would be seized by the authorities … You look like a guy caught smuggling reptiles in his pants … You look like the guy who the neighbors later say, ‘He mostly kept to himself.’ … You look like the night manager of a creepy motel. … And you look like the guy who enjoys getting into a hot tub and watching his swim trunks inflate."
Watch the video of the McCain-Letterman insult fest, plus read more of Letterman's jabs at Old Man McCain.

David Letterman Videos
Conservative Insult Generator
Liberal Insult Generator
Late-Night Jokes

(Photo by CBS)


April 2, 2008 at 9:28 am
(1) Ronald Cowin says:

For anyone who thought the Letterman/McCain exchange was spontaneous, I have a nice assortment of bridges on sale. Personally, I thought the strain of writing for two was too taxing on his staff. There is a good reason why the opening of the show is called a monologue.

April 2, 2008 at 1:48 pm
(2) CowboyDenver says:

“like a guy caught smuggling reptiles in his pants” – huh? what? Yeah, that’s witty. Good thing he’s not running for Comedian of the United States.

April 2, 2008 at 1:55 pm
(3) John says:

More Letterman on McCain:

“He looks like the guy at the movies whose wife has to repeat everything.”

“He looks like a guy who’s backed over his own mailbox.”

“He looks like the guy at the supermarket who is confused by the automatic doors.”

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