If you're the sort of person who enjoys watching a good train wreck - especially one involving politicians, ass-shaking, and pelvic-thrusting -- then you don't want to miss Tom DeLay's debut performance on Dancing With the Stars.
The former House majority leader was joined by a bikini-clad professional dance partner, Cheryl Burke, as he cut loose to "Wild Thing," doing the cha cha in his orthopedic shoes, sliding across the stage, playing air guitar, and shaking his booty at the camera.
Watch the video (warning: may cause psychological scarring and/or burning of the eyes.)
"You are crazier than Sarah Palin!" judge Bruno Tonioli remarked at the end of DeLay's act.
"Parts were magic, parts were tragic," judge Len Goodman said.
The reviews from elsewhere were no kinder:
"It reminds you of your uncle who's had a little too much to drink at a wedding or something, doesn't it?" -CNN's Kiran Chetry
"Unbelievably flamboyant." -Jon Stewart
"Somewhere in Idaho, Larry Craig is leaning in very close to his television." -Newsweek's Holly Bailey
"I thought Tom Delay did a great job dancing, especially with that electronic ankle bracelet. -Andy Borowitz, on Twitter
"When Tom DeLay goes to prison they can show his dancing video to the inmates" -CNN's Jack Cafferty
"It might be a sign of the apocalypse -- a frilly Tom DeLay shimmying away from an indictment and onto 'Dancing.'" -Maureen Dowd, in The New York Times
"I think I threw up a little in my mouth." -Melissa on Facebook
"ARGHHHHH! Where's the eye bleach?" -Susan on Facebook
Those who were hoping they'd be spared the horror of watching DeLay wiggle and writhe around on stage in the next week's episode are out of luck. The votes are in and The Hammer has lived to make a fool of himself another day.
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