Vice President Joe Biden stepped in to perform the president's comedic duties at the annual Radio & TV Correspondents' Dinner.
With President Obama busy hosting a St. Patrick's Day party at the White House, Biden cracked jokes about everyone from Sarah Palin to FOX News, and even threw in a dig at Tiger Woods. (Watch the video)
Following are highlights from Biden's stand-up comedy routine:
On FOX News: "You all know St. Patrick is credited with banishing snakes from Ireland. But you guys know the truth, sometimes. There were never any snakes in Ireland. St. Patrick just made that up. Which explains why he's the patron saint of FOX News."
On Obama hosting a Saint Patrick's Day dinner: "You know, the truth is I can't believe I'm here with you guys tonight. Here I am, the first Irish-Catholic Vice President in the history of the United States of America. Barack Obama is the first African-American President in the history of the United States of America. He's hosting the Saint Patrick's Day Dinner and I'm here with you all. Go figure. He's with my base. I'm with his (the press)."
On GOP complaints that the health care bill is 2,022 pages long: "Put yourself in their spot. Just ask Sarah. That's a hell of a lot to write on the palm of your hand."
On the recovery act: "Republicans keep saying it hasn't created a single job. Well, tell that to Senator Scott Brown."
On Liz Cheney: "I understand Liz Cheney is in the house... Liz has been on a tear lately. Now, she's questioning if Tom Brady is a real Patriot."
On the broadcast media: "I admire the skills required to be an anchor, a commentator, a talking head. I think you've got a pretty tough job. But occasionally I'm surprised by your lack of self awareness -- for example, when Dick Morris is quick to point out every time I put my foot in my mouth. Well, Dick, at least it's MY foot." (Morris was once embroiled in a toe-sucking sex scandal with a prostitute.)
On his diplomatic dispute with Israel over the construction of new housing in East Jerusalem: "I just got back from five days in the Middle East. I love to travel, but it's great to be back in a place where a boom in housing construction is actually a good thing."
On his dog Champ: "You can see he's a Democratic dog. He's biting the hand that feeds him."
On Tiger Woods: "The job does have some perks, like when Tiger Woods came to see me and gave me some tips. Hey guys, they were golf tips."
Biden wrapped up his routine by narrating a humorous slide show featuring photos from his first year in office. The infamous photo of Biden at the state dinner with party crashers Tareq and Michaele Salahi popped up, drawing laughs from the crowd. "I have no idea how that got in there," Biden quipped. (Watch the video)Washington's silly season is just getting started. Next up: Bill Clinton is set to headline the Gridiron Dinner Saturday night, and Obama will resume his duties as comedian-in-chief at the White House Correspondents' Dinner on May 1.
See Also:
Top 10 Joe Biden Gaffes
Sarah Palin Does Stand-Up Comedy on The Tonight Show
Obama Draws Big Laughs at Radio and TV Correspondents' Dinner
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Comments
Thanks, Uncle Joe! Haha! FOX News is so silly! Haha! Heehee! Well, FOX was the only network to actually ask The One any tough questions the other night while GMA on ABC did a fluff piece of The One filling out his picks for March Madness. Of course, the real March Madness is that no one reported that he misspelled SYRACUSE in national TV. Smartest man ever in the White House? If Bush had done this…well, you know the rest of that… http://patrioticmobster.wordpress.com/2010/03/18/sycacuse-obama-rewrites-the-map-of-ny-state/
@PresidentialSuit
Actually, they did report on the misspelling Syracuse thing, and on MSNBC, no less, last night on Countdown. Just throwing that out there.
Argument culture it doesn’t matter what is going on, the other side is always wrong even when they do things you agree with. Wake up and smell the bulls**t, we’ve all been forced into picking a side and sticking to it without realizing that neither side represents hardly anyone’s real views on how this country should be run.
It sounded funny about St Patrick being a patron saint of Fox News. I thought Saint Patrick was the patron saint of the White House.
I love Joe!! He is a straight talking guy for sure! What I would like to here is the Joe Biden Prank Phone Call collection! I would pay for that!
From the above text:
“On GOP complaints that the health care bill is 2,022 pages long: “Put yourself in their spot. Just ask Sarah. That’s a hell of a lot to write on the palm of your hand.”
If you listen to what he actually said, he said 222 pages long.