President Obama and Mitt Romney traded jokes and barbs while engaging in a war of wits at the Al Smith Dinner.
It has been a long-running tradition for presidential candidates to take a break from the campaign trail to participate in a comedic sparring match at the annual charity dinner. Obama and Romney both drew big laughs as they delivered some of the funniest lines of the election season. (Check out the Romney video or transcript and the Obama video or transcript.)
Here are some of Romney's best jokes:
On the presidential debates: "People seem to be very curious as to how we prepare for the debates. Let me tell you what I do: First, refrain from alcohol for 65 years before the debate. Second, find the biggest available straw man and then just mercilessly attack him- Big Bird didn't even see it coming. And by the way, in the spirit of Sesame Street the President's remarks tonight are brought to you by the letter O and the number 16 trillion."
On the media: "Let's just say that some in the media have a certain way of looking at things. When suddenly I pulled ahead in some of the major polls, what was the headline? 'Polls show Obama leading from behind.' And I have already seen early reports from tonight's dinner,' headline: Obama embraced by Catholics, Romney dines with rich people.'"
On Obama: "We're now in the final months of the president's term. As President Obama surveys the Waldorf banquet room with everyone in white tie and finery, you have to wonder what he's thinking. So little time, so much to redistribute."
On jobs numbers: "Don't be surprised if the president mentions, this evening, the monthly jobs report, there was a slight improvement in the numbers. He knows how to seize a moment, this president, and already has a compelling new campaign slogan: 'You'ree better off now than you were four weeks ago.'"
On the Catholic church: "Your kind hospitality here tonight gives me the chance to convey my deep and long-held respect for the Catholic church. I have special admiration for the apostle, St. Peter, to whom it is said 'Upon this rock, I will build my church.' The story is all the more inspiring when you consider that he had so many skeptics and scoffers at the time who were heard to say, 'If you've got a church, you didn't build that.'"
On supporting roles: "Campaigns can be grueling, exhausting, President Obama and I are each very lucky to have one person who is always in our corner. Someone who we can lean on and someone who's a comforting presence without whom we wouldn't be able to go on with the day. I have my beautiful wife, Ann, he has Bill Clinton."
And here are some of Obama's best jokes:On the crowd: "Everyone please take your seats, or else Clint Eastwood will yell at them."
On Romney: "I'm still making the most of my time in the city, earlier today I went shopping at some stores in Midtown. I understand Governor Romney went shopping for some stores in Midtown."
On the debates: "As some of you may have noticed, I had a lot more energy in our second debate. I felt really well-rested after the nice, long nap I had in the first debate."
On diplomacy: "Of course world affairs are a challenge for every candidate. After -- some of you guys remember -- after my foreign trip in 2008 I was attacked as a celebrity because I was so popular with our allies overseas and I have to say I am impressed with how well Governor Romney has avoided that problem."
On aging: "It's been four years since I was last at the Al Smith dinner and I have to admit some things have changed since then. I've heard some people say, "Barack, you're not as young as you used to be. Where is that golden smile, where is that pep in your step?" And I say, 'Settle down Joe, I'm trying to run a cabinet meeting here.' He does smile when he says it though."
On unusual names: "Ultimately though, tonight's not about the disagreements Governor Romney and I may have. It's what we have in common, beginning with our unusual names. Actually Mitt is his middle name. I wish I could use my middle name."
On unemployment: "Of course, the economy is on everybody's minds. The unemployment rate is at its lowest level since I took office. ... I don't have a joke here, I just thought it would be useful to remind everybody that the unemployment rate is at the lowest it's been since I took office."
On foreign policy: "Monday's debate is a little bit different because the topic is foreign policy. Spoiler Alert: We got Bin Laden."
See Also:
• Funniest Barack Obama Quotes
• Funniest Mitt Romney Jokes
• Funniest Memes from the 2012 Debates
Comments
I liked Obama’s about his middle name… sigh. I kind of feel sorry for him.