Mission Accomplished?

"In response to the escalating violence in Iraq, President Bush is delaying the return home of 25,000 troops and will actually add reinforcements to the south. Then in a symbolic gesture he pulled down the mission accomplished banner, put on a flight suit, walked backwards to a jet fighter, and flew it in reverse off an aircraft carrier." —Tina Fey, Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"

"Did you see President Bush land on the aircraft carrier? President Bush told reporters on the carrier after he landed that the pilot actually let him fly the plane for a little bit. In a related story, Dick Cheney said that he once let President Bush run the country for a few minutes." —Conan O'Brien

"Democrats are very upset that President Bush flew onto that aircraft carrier dressed as a fighter pilot. They said it was just a campaign stunt. But I don't know. Before that he visited that Boeing plant and put on a construction hat. And then he went to his ranch and put on a cowboy hat. Then last week he met with cops and put on a motorcycle hat. I think he's trying to join the Village People." —Jay Leno

"During an address from the aircraft carrier, the USS Lincoln, President Bush declared the war in Iraq a success saying no terrorist network will gain weapons of mass destruction from the Iraqi regime because it turns out they didn't have any." —Jimmy Fallon, Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"

"President Bush became the first president to land on an aircraft carrier. He landed in a jet on the Abraham Lincoln. You know, the last time a president landed on something that big, he got impeached." —Jay Leno

"President Bush made history yesterday by becoming the first president to land a jet plane on a moving aircraft carrier. First time a president has ever done a tail hook landing. Don't get him confused with President Bill Clinton, who hooked a lot of tail." —Jay Leno