| Teresa Heinz Kerry Jokes | |||||||||||||
| Late-Night Jokes About Teresa Heinz Kerry | |||||||||||||
Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman New: The 10 Best John Kerry Jokes "John Kerry went hunting today. He said he killed a goose. He didn't bring Teresa along because he was a little rusty and he was afraid he might kill the goose that laid the golden egg." --Jay Leno "John Kerry met with the AARP. They were having their convention. He gave a speech, then Kerry introduced his retirement plan — his wife, Teresa." —Jay Leno "In an interview in Harper's Bazaar, Teresa Heinz Kerry said she doesn't much care for the title 'first lady.' You know the way the campaign is going, I think you'll be OK. You got nothing to worry about." —Jay Leno "Teresa Heinz Kerry said today that only an idiot would fail to support her husband's healthcare plan. See I'm confused, I thought she was John Kerry's healthcare plan. And his economic plan, and his retirement plan. Am I wrong?" —Jay Leno "Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge said in a press conference that several of our major financial institutions are in danger of being hit by terrorists. When John Kerry heard about this, he immediately placed Teresa Heinz Kerry in an undisclosed location." —Jay Leno "Teresa Heinz Kerry has a book coming out. I believe it's called 'It takes a villa.'" —David Letterman "We're learning more and more about potential first lady Teresa Heinz Kerry. Very well educated woman. Did you know that? In fact she can say 'shove it' in five different languages." —Jay Leno "As you know Teresa Heinz Kerry has been taking criticism for telling a reporter to 'shove it' the other day ... Can you blame Teresa Heinz Kerry, really? I mean what's the point of having a billion dollars if you can't tell someone to 'shove it'?" —Jay Leno "Teresa Heinz is on the cover of Newsweek magazine. John Kerry said he first noticed her when she was on the cover of another magazine, Fortune." —Jay Leno "John Kerry's wife Teresa Heinz is on the cover of Newsweek magazine this week and they said that if he is elected president, she will be the oldest first lady in American history. But that doesn't bother John Kerry, he said, 'To me, she looks like a million bucks'" —Jay Leno "In his big victory speech last night, Senator Kerry said that he wanted to defeat George Bush and the 'economy of privilege.' Then he hugged his wife, Teresa, heir to the multi-million dollar Heinz food fortune." —Jay Leno ~Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman Read late-night jokes about John Kerry Related Links |
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