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Bin Laden's Afterlife
Surprise
After getting nailed by a
Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he is greeted by
George Washington.
"How dare you attack the
nation I helped conceive!" yells Mr. Washington, slapping Osama in the
face. Patrick Henry comes up from behind: "You wanted to end the Americans'
liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose. James
Madison comes up next, and says, "This is why I allowed the Federal
government to provide for the common defense!" He drops a large weight on
Osama's knee.
Osama is subject to similar
beatings from John Randolph of Roanoke, James Monroe and 65 other 18th-century
American revolutionaries. As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks
him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is to be judged.
As Osama awaits his journey to
his final very hot destination, he screams, "This is not what I was
promised!"
An angel replies: "I told
you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I
said?"
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