Bush Goes to Hell
George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He
goes to Hell where the Devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do," says the Devil. "You're on my list but I have no room
for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going
to do. I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one
of them go, but you have to take their place.
I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
George thought that sounded pretty good so he agreed.
The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of
water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over, such
was his fate in Hell.
"No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I
could do that all day long."
The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and
a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after
"No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all
I could do was break rocks all day!" commented George.
The Devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the
floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread-eagle
pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can
The Devil smiled and said, "Monica, you're free to go!"
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