You Might Be A Democrat If...
- You own something that says, "Dukakis for
President, " and still display it.
- You've ever said, "We really should call the ACLU
- You believe that a few hundred loggers can find
another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree.
- You ever based an argument on the phrase, "But
they can afford a tax hike because..."
- You keep count of how many people you know in each
racial or ethnic category.
- You believe our government must do it because everyone
in Europe does.
- You can't talk about foreign policy without using the
- You think Ralph Nader makes a lot of sense.
- You don't understand why anyone was bothered by
Jane's trip to Hanoi.
- You think solar energy is being held back by those
greedy oil companies.
- You've never been mugged.
- You actually expect to collect Social Security.
- You think the State of Florida should have tried to
reform Ted Bundy.
- You think the Great Society has actually worked.
- You don't see the similarity between WONK and WANK.
- You got teary-eyed during the film "The American
- You think Ayn Rand is an African currency.
- Your house smells like a garbage dump because of your
commitment to recycling.
- You think political patronage describes the Kennedy
- Your High School Year Book goals included the words
- You think the Free Market is where they hand out
- You think Carter should be on Mt. Rushmore.
- You believe personal injury lawyers when they say
they are just trying to defend the little guy.
- You know that those profit mongering drug companies
could find a cure for AIDS if they really wanted to.
- You actually believe the NY Times and Washington
- You know at least one Vegan.
- You trust Teddy Kennedy when he said that she was
- You'd rather own Birkenstock than Merck Stock.
- You think public housing is great, but just NIMBY.
- You think the anti-war protestors from '60s are the
- You think that Supply Side Economics refers to your
dope dealer's stash.
- You think Michael Jackson is a great example of
- You actually think that poverty can be abolished.
- You think that Joan Baez had something to say.
- You admire the Swedish welfare system.
- You know that Jefferson really meant to say
"Entitled to Happiness."
- You think the Flat Tax should be at 95%
- You go to Gay Pride Day parades so that no one can
call you homophobic.
- After looking at your pay stub you can still say,
"America is undertaxed."
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