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Karl Rove Jokes

Late-Night Jokes About the Karl Rove Scandal

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"Karl Rove, the mastermind behind George Bush's entire political career, is stepping aside to spend more time, I can only assume, spreading rumors about his family. ... For those of us who never got to know Karl Rove -- mostly because he refused to answer any of the public's questions -- who was he? [on screen: news reports of Rove's nicknames, including 'turd blossom']. Now, now. I know turd blossom sounds bad, but amongst turd-related nicknames, blossom is about as good as you can do. I guess turd rainbow maybe is the only other." –Jon Stewart

"Big shakeup in the Bush administration. Karl Rove will no longer coordinate policy at the White House. That is a shocker -- someone coordinates policy at the White House?" --Bill Maher

"It's been announced that White House adviser Karl Rove will not be creating the day-to-day policy for the president anymore. You all know Karl Rove, he's the man they call Bush's brain. No, that's what they call him, Bush's brain. Now he's only going to be working part of the time, just like Bush's brain." --Jay Leno

"President Bush's top adviser Karl Rove testified before the grand jury for the fourth time this week. Maybe Bush should nominate him for Supreme Court. He's been in more courtrooms then Harriet Miers now." --Jay Leno

"Did you hear about this spy they found working in the White House. A guy in Vice President Cheney's security detail was allegedly passing U.S. secrets to foreign govenrments. And Karl Rove was furious. He said, 'Leaking secrets, that's my job.'" --Jay Leno

"I think Karl Rove is getting a little worried. Like today he said the biggest problem facing Americans -- prison rape." --Jay Leno

"President Bush said that even though Rafael Palmeiro apparently lied to Congress about taking steroids he's a friend and he is standing by him. After hearing this Karl Rove started wolfing down steroids." --Jay Leno

"The president's top political adviser, Karl Rove, is spending all his time working on Bush's next Supreme Court nominee. Well sure, that's because this judge could decide if Rove is going to prison or not." --Jay Leno

"It looks like there may be more people than just Karl Rove involved in this White House leaking scandal that's been going on. They are saying information may also have been leaked by the Vice President Dick Cheney's top aide -- a man named Scooter Libby. Let me tell you something right now. That is not a good name to have if you're going to prison." --Jay Leno

"There are now reports that top White House aide Karl Rove is being investigated for lying to the grand Jury. You know something? That sounds like a rich white guy crime -- lying to the grand jury. You never see anybody on Cops being charged with that." --Jay Leno

"Karl Rove, he is very desperate now. He's trying to improve his image. And, this afternoon, earlier today, he was jumping up and down on Oprah's couch." --David Letterman

"I thought this was nice – earlier today Martha Stewart showed Karl Rove how to slip off an ankle monitor." --Jay Leno

"Suspicion for the leak was immediately cast on White House adviser and long time Bush confident, Karl Rove, known as one of the few men in Washington with flesh colored hair" --Jon Stewart

"Karl Rove is in a lot of trouble for allegedly leaking the name of a CIA operative. Remember the good old days when the only thing leaking in the White House was President Clinton?" --Jay Leno

"There are hints now that President Bush might be backing away from Karl Rove. Like, today, he gave him a new job -- ambassador to Iraq. You know what's interesting -- this whole Karl Rove scandal -- it's just like the Clinton scandal. It involves a pudgy person in the Oval Office who can't keep their mouth shut." --Jay Leno

"This puts President Bush in kind of a jam because a year ago he said whoever leaked the name of the CIA operative would be fired. It's a case of Bush spoke too soon; like when he said 'Mission Accomplished.'" --Jay Leno

"Karl Rove is really not worried about this because he knows Bush is extremely loyal to his staff. He never likes to fire his staff -- not out of loyalty; he hates having to learn new names." --Jay Leno

"Karl Rove is in a lot of trouble. The White House says today that President Bush is standing by his top advisor Karl Rove even though Rove apparently revealed the identity of a CIA agent. However, Bush did say he would fire Rove if he revealed the end of 'Charlie and the Chocolate factory.'" --Conan O'Brien

"More problems for Karl Rove -- now he's accused of leaking the plot of the Harry Potter book." --Jay Leno

"This is a tough situation for President Bush because he and Rove are very close. And a friend of both was quoted saying today they finish each other's sentence. Although I am pretty sure Bush starts the sentence, and then the other guy finishes." --Jay Leno

"The big rumor is that Chief Justice Rehnquist is going to resign from the Supreme Court this week. See, I won't believe it till it's leaked to the New York Times by Karl Rove -- then I'll believe it's true." --Jay Leno
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