CIA Leak Scandal Jokes

"Well, while all this is going on, all these indictments, President Bush has now ordered everyone in the White House to attend ethics classes. Woo, not a moment too soon on that one. Now, you thought FEMA was late? --Jay Leno

"Libby was indicted on two counts of obstruction of justice, three counts of perjury, and one count of not being as smart as Karl Rove." --Jon Stewart

"Dick Cheney's right-hand man Scooter Libby has been indicted. By the way, his real name is not Scooter. It's I. Lewis Libby, which will come in handy when he has to say "I Lewis Libby swear to tell the truth, the whole truth.'" --Bill Maher

"This is a blow to Cheney. He is Cheney's Cheney. They say he could finish Cheney sentences, and now he's going to at Leavenworth." --Bill Maher

"They say these two are very close, Libby and Cheney. They say Cheney thought of him as a second lesbian daughter." --Bill Maher

"If convicted Libby could face the following penalties: obstruction of justice: 10 years in prison; making false statements: 5 years; perjury: 4 years; going to jail with the name Scooter: priceless." --Tina Fey

"The big story from Washington today is that President Bush may have lied to investigators about the CIA leak. The theory is that President Bush may have been playing dumb. Well good luck getting anyone to believe that one." --Jay Leno

"Morale is so bad at the White House that Dick Cheney has been giving pep talks. Yeah, you know it's bad when Dick Cheney is the most cheerful guy in the room." --Conan O'Brien

"Insiders say that if Karl Rove resigns, President Bush will not function effectively. Wait a minute, all this time he's been functioning effectively?" --David Letterman

"Bush is so exhausted by all these scandals that he is praying for another disaster like a flood or a hurricane so he can kick back and do nothing." --Bill Maher

"There are rumors circulating that because of the CIA leak investigation, Vice President Dick Cheney would resign and Condoleezza Rice will take his place. Due to the complex nature of the arrangement, it had to be explained to the President using puppets." --Jay Leno

"Did you hear about this spy they found working in the White House. A guy in Vice President Cheney's security detail was allegedly passing U.S. secrets to foreign govenrments. And Karl Rove was furious. He said, 'Leaking secrets, that's my job.'" --Jay Leno

"It looks like there may be more people than just Karl Rove involved in this White House leaking scandal that's been going on. They are saying information may also have been leaked by the Vice President Dick Cheney's top aide -- a man named Scooter Libby. Let me tell you something right now. That is not a good name to have if you're going to prison." --Jay Leno

There are hints now that President Bush might be backing away from Karl Rove. Like, today, he gave him a new job -- ambassador to Iraq. You know what's interesting -- this whole Karl Rove scandal -- it's just like the Clinton scandal. It involves a pudgy person in the Oval Office who can't keep their mouth shut." --Jay Leno

"This puts President Bush in kind of a jam because a year ago he said whoever leaked the name of the CIA operative would be fired. It's a case of Bush spoke too soon; like when he said 'Mission Accomplished.'" --Jay Leno

"Karl Rove is really not worried about this because he knows Bush is extremely loyal to his staff. He never likes to fire his staff -- not out of loyalty; he hates having to learn new names." --Jay Leno

"Karl Rove is in a lot of trouble for allegedly leaking the name of a CIA operative. Remember the good old days when the only thing leaking in the White House was President Clinton?" --Jay Leno