Fox News Jokes

"CBS News today has fired four employees for wildly fabricating a news story. The good news: they all got jobs over at Fox." --Craig Ferguson

"A Fox reporter who covered the Kerry campaign -- a guy named Carl Cameron -- he's in a lot of trouble for posting fake quotes about John Kerry. He said it was a joke. You know, kinda like 'fair and balanced.' That's how the networks work -- CBS makes up stuff about Bush, Fox makes up stuff about Kerry -- fair and balanced." --Jay Leno

"The election is in full-swing. Republicans have taken out round-the-clock ads promoting George Bush. Don't we already have that? It's called Fox News." —Craig Kilborn

"The race for the Democratic nomination is getting tight. In Iowa, it is a four-way dead heat — Dean, Kerry, Edwards and Gephardt. It is so close, Fox News doesn't know who to smear." —Bill Maher

"Democrats were reluctant to allow Al-Jazeera in their convention, because they thought their coverage would be biased and hostile. Then they realized it couldn't be any worse than Fox News." —Jay Leno

"This week in Baghdad, four people were arrested for pretending to be journalists. I'll tell you, this has got all the people over at Fox News nervous." —Jay Leno

"The Bush administration announced that it is starting its own news channel in Iraq so they can deliver the administration's point of view without any interference. Not surprisingly they are gonna call it the Fox News Network." —Conan O'Brien

"A couple of hours ago, President Bush arrived back in the United States after a controversial trip to England. The president said he was looking forward to seeing his loved ones. Of course he was talking about the reporters at Fox News." —Conan O'Brien

"The Chinese government launched China's first 24-hour news channel. And since the channel will only report stories that are favorable to the ruling party, they've decided to call it Fox News." —Conan O'Brien

"More looting in Iraq today and that’s just by Fox News. A TV engineer for Fox News has been charged with trying to smuggle stolen Iraqi paintings into the U.S. No wonder they got so much good video of all those people looting, they were right there with them. Well, let's just hope his jury is 'fair and balanced' as Fox News." —Jay Leno

"Chief Weapons Inspector Hans Blix told the U.N. today that Baghdad is cooperating or, to put it in terms that Fox News viewers can understand, Hans Blix told the U.N. today that Baghdad is not cooperating." —Bill Maher

"Rupert Murdoch, the owner of Fox News, has announced that he will support President Bush's re-election. Really, it's so hard to tell from the news coverage." —Jay Leno

"Roger Ailes, the head of the Fox News Channel, is denying reports that he sent President Bush a letter giving him advice on the war. In his own defense Ailes said I'm not in a position to give anyone advice, I hired Geraldo." —Conan O'Brien

"This week the Fox News Channel found out that a man that they had repeatedly interviewed lied about being a Lieutenant Colonel in the Army and he wasn't a real Colonel at all. Yeah, and they had been interviewing this guy for months. After hearing the news a spokesperson for FOX said, 'Big deal, Geraldo is not a real reporter.'" —Conan O'Brien

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