Iran Jokes

"In a speech today President Bush said contrary to reports, he has no plans to attack Iran. The president said 'That's ridiculous. We didn't even have plans when we attacked Iraq.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Did you see how happy President Bush was yesterday when he found out he won? Man he couldn't decide whether he should give a victory speech or announce the invasion of Iran." --Jay Leno

"An article in last week's New Yorker magazine, by reporter Seymour Hersch, who will apparently talk to anyone, alleges the Pentagon has been conducting secret spy missions inside Iran to identify possible targets ... or a possible full scale invasion. If you are wondering how our already stretched forces will be able to handle invading Iran as well -- shuttle service will be complimentary." --Jon Stewart

"Yesterday, one of Iran's top leaders announced he wanted President Bush to win re-election. When he heard about this, Bush said, you know, for an evil-doer, he's not such a bad guy." --Conan O'Brien

"The L.A. Times reports that al Qaeda terrorists have been traced to Iran, and President Bush is talking tough. In fact he said he will attack the minute he has evidence his approval rating is under 45 percent." —Jay Leno

"President Bush said today he is looking into if Iran had anything to do with 9/11, but he's not declaring war yet. He said first he wants to know all the facts -- so apparently he's trying a new strategy." —Jay Leno

"In the 9-11 commission report they say that it was Iran — not Iraq — that was helping Al Qaeda. So apparently we invaded the wrong country because of a typo!" —David Letterman

"There is good news tonight for Ahmed Chalabi. It turns out that all along he was providing accurate, truthful, helpful information. Unfortunately, it was to Iran." —Jon Stewart